This week, I will hit my nine months mark. That is beyond insane. I'm halfway done with my mission. And, like, the wise Bon Jovi song, I am definitely living on a prayer. I was hesitant to let you all know this, but if I don't, I don't really have an excuse for the sad amount of work that was accomplished this week.
So, I told you last week that I was more or less healthy. That wasn't exactly true to the fullest extent. Now, I'm telling you all this in confidence that you won't freak out or bombard my parents with emails. Remain calm.
On a wise whim, my mission mom ordered me to have a back x-ray two weeks ago, which I found to be very silly at the time, but last Monday I found out that apparently I have scoliosis and something called lumbosacral instability. There is an acute curve in my lower spine, which they say is causing a lot of my back pain, my odd ballerina stance (if any of you have ever noticed), and all that jazz. The instability is the major problem though, which I still don't know the extent of. Though super concerned, I told my mission mom, Sister Guanzon, that I can walk, run, bend, and work, because if my back hurts at all, it's mild pain that I shove to the back of my head. For those of you who know me, back pain has always been on my list of things to deal with, so I wasn't that worried.
Unfortunately, after that, my pain steadily got worse, until it peaked yesterday and we weren't able to work because sitting, standing, and even laying down does not bring this tired Sister a whole lot of comfort. Unfortunately, I'm a little out for the count, which is very frustrating sometimes. Sister Guanzon tells me that we're flying to Manila this week to have a full check up on my spine.
But you know what? It's all good. I've decided that it's going to be okay. I don't know what'll happen this week. But I'm okay. This puti is still fighting. I had a bad daywith the prospect of going home early. Like, I sort of broke down, feeling a little like a failure. But through that pain, a phrase from a scripture came to my mind.
"Be still, and know that I am God." (D&C 101:16)
That was a big comfort to me. So I've decided that whatever happens happens and that even if my mission comes to a premature close, I don't have to leave the "field". Temple work, family history, visiting teaching, relief society, and being exactly obedient, will be my missionary work if I can no longer serve here. I've just decided that I just need to trust God on this one.
So if my mission lasts for nine more months or nine more days, consider me 100% okay. Nothing is going to stop me from serving, whether it be here in the Philippines or wherever. I'll go where God wants me to go.
But in the mean time, I'll keep living on your prayers. I love you!